Coffee and Cigarettes
by ToldYouItHurts
Summary: At some point you have to say 'to hell with it' and move on. Where's the use in holding a grudge?


He made it sound so easy.

Just pack my bags and walk out, straight into the arms of the one I was _destined_ to be with. It was a cruel twist of fate , one that I had no desire to relive anytime soon. If there was one thing I had learned in my twenty-four years of existence is that life could fuck you over. It never gave you an explanation, everything could be going rosy one minute and then BAM you have officially been screwed.

Looking around the room that currently held my sister, two brothers, mother and father I couldn't hold the sigh back. I was mentally and physically tired of their games. I understood they were looking out for me, it was expected after all. We were family and they all held their own opinion on the matter at hand.

"Gabriella, we all love you and we-" I couldn't help but smile at my younger sister's feeble attempt of helping me but she didn't need to finish. It seemed that sentence had always haunted her, from the moment she clapped eyes on the young blue eyed boy with shaggy hair. "We all love you and we all just want the best for you, but…" There was always a freaking _but_, whenever he was mentioned there was always a _but_. But this and but that. He was only human after all, he couldn't help it if he had made mistakes in the past. The world and its mother had made mistakes, no matter what anybody said she'd stick by him.

"Tiffany, sweetie. I know what your going to say and I really haven't got the head for it so if you could just step off that would be much appreciated." I snapped, rubbing my temples almost as if to relieve the stress that had built up over the last twenty or so minutes.

"No need to snap at her El, at least someone's got their fucking head screwed on." Josh my eldest brother hissed. If this was any other time I would of cracked under his disapproving gaze, but this wasn't just any other time. This was me finally taking a stand for myself, showing them that I was grown now and didn't need a constant reminder of my past. No, I said that wrong, that makes it sound like I had a shitty childhood which I most definitely didn't. To be completely honest I had a great childhood, my mother and father were and still to this day, entwined in a happy marriage. Me and my siblings had always been close and I was very close to my grandparents. My parents had been very laidback growing up, they let us drink in the house with friends but of course the quantity of alcohol was monitored and they gave us a generous curfew. I always thought it was because of my mothers strict upbringing, I just assumed they felt that holding us hostage in the house twenty-four-seven would eventually lead us to rebelling and doing it anyway.

I think looking back on it all my parents would blame themselves. I've often heard them say if they could do things more differently they would and its understandable I pushed them to their boundaries, took advantage of them if you'd like. Its safe to say me and my older brother did.

"You got a nerve mind haven't you Josh, standing here pointing out all my mistakes. Your not exactly perfect now are you." I smirked tauntingly, I had long passed seeing red. I had seen every pissing colour under the sun. "If I remember correctly you were shagging every fucker when you were married and you can still stand there and say that I'm the screwed up one, at least I'd never put Noah through that. You dragged your kids through a bloody divorce, get custody and then fuck off too Ibiza for three weeks."

His blood was boiling, you could see it in his eyes. His usual warm brown eyes had suddenly turned black. It was a low blow yeah, I knew that as soon as I had said it. There was more to it than that. Gisele hadn't been perfect either. She'd been screwing the pool boy from next door and the local bachelor had also been one of her many conquests. There had been talk of the two youngest children's not being his and that had driven him to leave for three weeks to sort his head out.

His teeth had clenched together and his jaw locked, his eyes giving out a hard stare through two slits. "This isn't about me though is it?." It wasn't a question, it was a statement. His problems were not going to be involved in this discussion and there was no reason to continue bringing it up.

"Never is" I mumbled closing my eyes.

"Look now, why don't we all make a cup of coffee and sit round the table and discuss this." My mother suggested in a calming manner.

"No, this is my life and I don't need to discuss it at all. If I've decided to forgive him then that's my problem. If he fucks it up this time then yeah, I'll let you throw a party and tell me you told me so if you really want to but can we drop it. At the end of the day Noah needs his father in his life and to be completely honest I think I need him to. He realises that this is his last chance and that its not just me he's leaving now but No as well and he's clean now, has been for three years." My younger brother snorted and my mother shot him a quick glare and then looked at me signalling for me to continue "He's changed mammy" I pleaded looking her in the eyes desperately. "He's got a job. Troy Bolton has got a freaking job. He's over all the time, playing with No and mum the way he looks at him. Its so tender, like he's his pride and joy. He's teaching him to play basketball"

My mother was always a softie but when it comes to Troy Bolton-oh it was safe to say she hated him with a burning passion. From the moment I introduced him to her when I was fifteen and he was just turning seventeen she had taken a dislike to him. She had a right to after all, he was a homeless drug addict that was dating her oldest daughter. She kept it to herself though for the sake of me, well everyone did, except Josh and my father Joseph. I could date him but if I even dared bring him near the house. It all came to a boil when I turned sixteen, three weeks after to be exact. Me and my best friend since I was three Sharpay sat on the bathroom floor holding a white stick with a pink line on it.

I laid on my bed for four days with Sharpay not once leaving my side for more than five minutes and then it was only to get food or a bathroom break. Troy had taken it badly, telling me he wasn't ready for that sort of responsibly and that it was best for the three of them if he stayed away. He walked out and the next day Shar told me that he had packed up and left through the night. I honestly thought I would never forgive him, that he had left me stranded with his child and he was out fucking everything in heels. I resented my baby after that, choosing to ignore my growing bump and still continue with my partying ways. I drank until the sun went down and even dabbled in drugs at one point. It was a miracle that he had survived my neglect. I can tell you exactly when I fell in love with my baby, I was in the bath because our shower had broken somehow through the week., and I studied my bump for the first time in the 7 months I had been pregnant. I used my index finger and traced my the patterns on my bump, truly fascinated that there was an actual being inside of me. From that moment I changed the person I was completely. No more partying, every revealing outfit I owned was thrown out, my makeup cut down, I became mature over night. My parents were shocked, I had gone from not even mentioning the b word to never shutting up about it.

I couldn't help but smile at the memory of my mother sitting on the kitchen stool, drinking her coffee as usual and her face when I walked in with two big boxes and three bags of baby clothe, oh it was complete and utter shock. It was like I had been thrown into another world where I behaved and where I took things in life more seriously. Where as in the beginning I thought having a child was the worst thing that could possibly happen to me it was the opposite, when Noah Evan Joseph Montez was born, well there's not even a word to describe it. It was like a wave of love and contentment had washed through my whole body and I loved it. Being a single mother had its disadvantages of course, I needed support that my parents couldn't provide I needed to share the responsibility with another man, my baby boy needed a daddy around to teach him thing that I wouldn't have a clue to do. But on the other hand me and Noah formed a very close bond, I hated being away from him to long. He was my life, everything I did revolved around him and if he didn't benefit from what I was doing then that would be put on hold.

Surprisingly it strengthened my relationship with my parents. My father, of course, was fuming when he found out and didn't speak to me for the whole seven months he knew about my unexpected pregnancy. The day after Noah was born he walked in my hospital room, ready to pick me up and take me home he looked at me and then at the tiny baby in my arms and walked over and gathered us in his arms kissing my head and whispering that everything was going to be aright and that he would look after us from now on. He was true to his word and to this very day he would still pop around five times a week to check everything was okay. Having his coffee and biscuit and then on his way. I had to laugh at my families weird obsession with coffee the only person that didn't like it was Rowan. He was more of a tea person.

Rowan Richard Montez was and still is the light of my life. Me and Ro had always been close. There was an eight year age gap and he depended on me a lot, not because our parents neglected us ,just because we're so close and comfortable around each other, I could honestly tell him anything without him judging and like wise. Rowan at the moment was giving me the cold shoulder and I hated it. He barely looked at me anymore and when he did it held disgust. It was times like these where I wished that freaking Troy Bolton had never walked back into our lives. Ro was the first to know about him, he walked in on us kissing and it ended with only hurtful comments and emotional wounds.

Its not even like I just jumped into bed with him, he had been back in our lives since No was six so that's about two maybe coming up to three years. I didn't pine over him or wait for him to come back like some people do, I got on with it. I moved on long ago and I stopped loving him the day he walked out. And I was relived when he told me he didn't expect any more than that, that he deserved to be punished for the mistake he made and that he'd be scared if I did jump straight into his arms. He came back a different man, as if the old him never existed a new leaf he called it. And you could see it in him, don't get me wrong he wasn't quoting the bible and still smoked but he didn't do it in the house. He didn't drink anymore something I was grateful to hear, his mother had died from to much alcohol intake after all. He wasn't peaches and cream and still held a nasty temper but then again so did I. It seemed we were both new people and Noah was the reason for that. I remember him fiddling with his fingers on the porch like it was yesterday.

Flashback(Troy's pov)

To say I was nervous was an understatement I was wetting myself. I was about to walk up the path that ultimately held my future. If I knocked on that door and she turned me away then not only would it be completely understandable but it would end in a battle for custody and that was something I knew, even though I hadn't seen her in seven years, that she wouldn't want to go through. I was selfish I knew that, I was walking back into their lives after seven years of isolation from them and expected them to drop everything they're doing and dance to my tune. It didn't want it to seem like that but it would. And if she took me in and let me be apart of their lives then, lets just say I would be eternally grateful.

Gabriella Montez was unpredictable and this could go either way, heck knowing her she'd throw in a twist just to piss me off. What if she had another man? Wouldn't he be my child's _father_? Shit, maybe I had left it to long. But that was the thing, I had left it to long. Seven years to long. I didn't know whether I had a daughter or a son, hey for all I know it could have been twins, triplets even. I could picture her face in my head, looking at me desperately, looking lost and scared begging me to hold her and comfort her, and I walked away. That was the last time I ever saw Gabriella Montez, in the flesh anyway. Her distraught face infected my dreams like a plague, whenever I did something that I knew she would disapprove of there she'd be staring me down with those brown doe eyes. She may not have known it but she helped me off the drugs. She helped in so many ways over the years, since the day I met her she had been looking out for me, pulling me back up when I hit rock bottom. She went against her parents wishes and told them I was different with her, which I was. I didn't look at another woman, I didn't want to look at another woman. Gone where the days of fake boobs and bleached hair or so I thought.

It was almost irony, I had blamed every problem I had in my life on not having a father growing up and look where I am now. At least my father stuck around long enough to be present at my birth he was even there for my first birthday, I fled it the moment she said those two life altering words to me. It was always painful to revisit that day, even though it replayed over and over again in my brain, I was desperate to find a reasonable explanation, like she'd cheated on me, but the dates matched. She'd tried to trap me in the relationship, but there was no reason to trap me I weren't going anywhere in a hurry. That she'd lied about being pregnant, women do it everyday. I even began to convince myself that it was her fault and I went on like that for years until I was in the park was evening, I'd been for a jog around the lake and stopped to take a swig of water when a ball came out of nowhere. Two little children ran up, competing to see who could get the ball first. It was adorable sight, the little boy got there first and gloated in his younger sisters face. A man I assumed was the father ran up to them picking up the little girl onto his shoulders and carrying the young boy like a brief case walking over to a young women, in her early thirties maybe. It was such a tender sight and gave him a real clout on the head. From that moment on he was determined to find his little family. His child and his brown eyed beauty.

Speaking of those eyes.

".Fuck" She said in an almost monotone voice. He licked his lips, she was wasn't a girl anymore that was obvious.

"Hey baby." I sounded confident but was I hell. I wanted to jump down the steps and leg it to the car, but I'd walked out on her one to many times. I was ready to fight for her, weather she was ready or not was a different matter.

Flashback(End of P.O.V)

I of course shut the door in his face and told him where to stick his apology. He hadn't given up though, came back around everyday for a week or so around the same time. Once I had eventually given in and let have his say, I sort of softened. I let him meet Noah, we didn't explain who he was though for another four months. It would be a big shock for a six year old and I wanted see how long Troy would stick around, I held no trust in him anymore and If I was being completely honest I couldn't wait to see the back of him. I had this plan laid out for when he did eventually realise how hard it was being a parent and chocked. He of course kept up his 'never faze to amaze me' attitude and never left.

"Yeah all well and good, but now your involved Gabriella. You've got to think about Noah this isn't just about you. If he walks out your going to be to distraught to pick up the pieces for No and he'll need you." You could tell how upset Rowan was about it all, he called me Gabriella for goodness sake. No El or Ellie which is what I was known by my family. What the hell was happening?

"Are you saying I'm being selfish? For wanting a bit of happiness? Ro, I've been looking after Noah all his life and never expected mammy or daddy to lift a finger and now cause I want my son to have a normal family I'm selfish." I could hear my voice raising and I knew I better change my tune unless I wanted this to carry on the way it had. "I know Ro how much he hurt me are you forgetting that I was the one who had to go through it and he knows that if he leaves its no going back."

"That sounds familiar, I'm sure you said that last time "He thinks he can just walk back into our lives he got another thing coming" So you see El your not as strong as you like to think you are and yes to put it bluntly you are being selfish." Shit here Josh goes.

"How in the world am I being selfish. If I want to make a go of this I will, and I'll tell you now you better get used to it" I snarled.

Okay, maybe I was being a little harsh, I did after all say that last time. But I was so sick of harbouring all this hate for him, he was trying so hard with me and Noah and I was just blanking him at every point. Yeah, some would say he deserved nothing less but I was ready to forgive him. Don't get me wrong I didn't just wake up and decided to give him a go, it took months to get back to a point where I even felt comfortable being alone with him. I noticed Rowan got up and left in the middle of my little outburst and Tiffany not long behind him. It was just me, Josh and my parents.

"Josh, were out of coffee, take your mother to the shops." Oh shit. My father hadn't said a word since I told them all and I knew he would take this as an opportunity to dig into me.

"But-"

"Now." his voice held power and it was slightly raised with a sharp edge to it. Tip, even if my father was laid back you never questioned his authority. Josh let out a frustrated sigh and stomped out to the car. Literally. My mother scurrying behind him with her oversized bag and grabbing her coat before leaving the house.

"Daddy-"

"Can you remember when you found out you was pregnant?" I nodded, slightly confused, how could I forget that. "Can you remember you running home crying after he told you to leave?" I see where this is going. "And can you remember bringing up your son all on your own for six years before he thought he'd make an appearance? " He said through gritted teeth. "Or did it slip your mind?"

I gulped, he was going to use everything he had in him to persuade me not to stay with him.

"Have you forgotten about Karl? Karl, the man that took you and Noah on when he didn't have any reason to? You know what I was never ashamed of you when you got pregnant, yeah I acted like I was but I wasn't. But this, this I am ashamed of Gabriella. I thought you knew right from wrong" His eyes and tone of voice suddenly softened. "He doesn't deserve you baby girl, you or No. You both deserve someone who you can guarantee will never leave you, who'll stick by you thick and thin with no questions asked. You deserve the best and, even if that man isn't Karl, then I'll throw my hands in the air and let you say I told you so. But please, you look me in the eyes and tell me that you aren't insecure around him, that every time he walks out the door you aren't scared he's not going to come back. Tell me that and I'll give you my blessing." By the end he was sort of pleading with me, he was scared I was going to make the wrong choice, the same mistake twice.

With Troy and Noah

I was starting to get scared now, she'd been gone for ages. I was scared she'd come back and tell me to pack my bags, to leave and never come back, that she was better off without me. This wasn't a foreign feeling at all, I always felt this way. I left so easily, why shouldn't she? It was her father I was particularly worried about, he would be able to convince her if anybody. She would be able to take to my son, I had no claim to him, I wasn't even on his birth certificate. I knew that they'd all be there staring her down telling her that I'd walk out, I'm not stupid. I think, no I know I'd be the same if I had a daughter. I wouldn't want my baby girl to be bringing up a child when she was still a baby herself and that's what hurts the most. I would be saying the exact same things they are saying to her right now, cause that's the way it is. I would expect Noah to be the same to, if it was his little sister. They were protecting her I know that, but I wanted to prove to them I wasn't who they thought I was. That I wasn't going to leave them now, I loved them both to much to walk away from it all. I loved being a father, part of a family, like I was needed. Damn, why did I leave all this again?

I looked down at my son. He was laying in my arms, had fallen asleep long ago, only ten minutes into the film. I chuckled, god he was his mothers son aright. She was always the same, never got through a film without falling asleep. Oh fuck sake! If I could get her off my mind for ten minutes then I wouldn't be so flaming worked up over what they're saying. I bet they'll mention Karl. I bet you all the money in the world they'll pull that card.

Karl Mellow was the most manipulative man I knew, any man that came into his sight was always a threat. The only person he seemed to be able to tolerate was Gabriella, he had always had a soft spot for her, since they were kids. And it drove me mad, even when me and her were together he was always there breathing down our necks. In the back of my mind I knew as soon as word got out that I had left her stranded with my kid that he would be next to her, offering her support and it made my skin crawl. I went off the wall when I got back and she told me that him and her were an item even if I didn't have any reason too, it didn't occur to me until she said it, she wasn't mine anymore I didn't have any claim to her well with exception of my son of course. I was partly grateful that she didn't have to raise him alone, but with the help of Mellow, that was no go. They lived together and even though Noah didn't call him dad there would obviously be a bit of a bond between them and I would never, no rephrase that could never come between them. It was simple he was there when I should have been. And the fact that Gabriella would of hung me dry if I tried to. Gabriella and him split up five months after I started having regular contact with Noah. Me, being the cocky guy I am thought it was because she came to her senses and realised that we were destined together. But alas, it wasn't. Karl had become obsessed in what she was doing, fearing that I was coming round while he was on his business trips for a late night shag. Of course I wasn't, she wasn't like that. I on the other hand would've bitten her hand off if she had ever given me the option. He still visited Noah and Gabriella's parents thought the world of him, something they would never think of me. But I had no one to blame but myself after all.

And anyway, I'm the last person she see before she goes to sleep and the first she wakes up to in the morning. And I could only pray to god that it would stay that way, but if her family had anything to do with it…

Gabriella

I pulled the car up into the drive and turned the engine off. God when did life get so complicated? I laid my head onto the steering wheel for a moments peace. As much as it pained me to say it but life was that much easier when Troy was god knows where. I had my family, friends and a guy I could relay on.

I had loved Karl, I really did, but he was controlling and paranoid and I needed someone who was stable and could trust me to be there for them and as weird as it sounds Troy gave me that stability. Before everything happened and all this drama occurred we were happy, so incredibly happy. He was so spontaneous, taking me out early hours of the morning because he preferred it when we were isolated from the rest of the world, or when he used to call me at half four in the morning cause he couldn't sleep when we were fighting. He had his downsides mind, like how he'd flirt 'unknowingly' with the waitress and then go on to check her out once she was walking away swinging her hips. Oh and how could I forget how I would suddenly be ignored when basketball season started up again. And of course his drug addiction, that was always a sore point in our relationship. It may not of started most of our arguments but it was mentioned in every row, mainly by me of course. During our bust ups I often accused him of loving his cannabis more than me and that was usually the blow up point. We rarely argued but when we did oh boy it was messy. Me shoving him, him provoking me, me screaming, him screaming, me chucking everything in my reach at him and him getting some pretty nasty bruises. We had argued since we been back together, but not once had either of us taken to the extent we used to, we had a son to think of now. He had never raised his hand to me though, not once and I doubt he ever would.

I could hear my fathers voice in my head but I had no idea what he was saying. It was like all the advice he had ever given me blended together and it was so confusing. For the first time in my life I didn't know how I felt. I didn't know whether I was sad, angry, confused, happy. I felt like crying that's all I knew, but I didn't for the life of me know why. Its like I had be taken out of the world and I could see everything going on beneath me. Troy and me, my dad and me, my brothers and me, Noah and me. And then it hit me, this wasn't about me at all. It didn't matter how I felt about everything as soon as my son was safe and happy then that's all that mattered. He's all that mattered. He's all that would ever matter, cause he was at the centre of all this not me. Everything was so clear all of a sudden, so so clear. I jumped out of the car and quickly locked it and bounded up the steps towards the door. Opening it quickly but quietly I tip toed into the house and towards the living area where the noise of the TV was coming from. A gentle smile made its way onto my lips as watched from a distance the breathtaking scene in front of me. Troy laid on his back on the sofa with his arms up behind his head and Noah sprawled out on top of him.

See this was what mattered. Not the coffee and cigarettes we used to care so much about. But this, our own little family and even though it hadn't had its best of starts I would do everything in my power to make sure it went smoothly from now on.

This is what mattered.

_**I**_** don't have a clue where this came from. I was laying in bed and it just came to me and it was almost a nagging feeling for me to write it. Not my best work but I think I get lazy towards the end in most of my one-shots. Don't own anything from this story, **

**Right I'm off to bed now, shattered even though its only half nine. **

**Jess x**


End file.
